I’ve been sharing Beth Moore’s teachings on Esther to the women in our church. I download the videos, take notes, adapt a tad, and teach. Last month the teaching was on Mordechai and Haman. It touched on the fact that we are demonstrating the spirit of Haman when we are angry and offended by the behavior of others. We applied this with some teaching about “mean girls” and how we have a “mean girl” in each of us that rises up under certain circumstances.
One of those circumstances is when our children are bothered in some way by a mean girl or guy. Some of us become Mother Bears when this happens. My mom was a consumate Mother Bear. You did not mess with her kids–or her grandkids. I remember once after a church play, my mother marched up to the director and said, “I am a music teacher from out of town (true) and that little blonde boy (she did not happen to mention that the little blonde boy was her grandson, Steve) has one of the most beautiful voices I’ve ever heard! Why didn’t you have him sing more?!” True Mother Bear behavior. She was offended that Steve’s superior talent wasn’t recognized.
However, Mom didn’t carry these offenses home to us, she never ranted and raved about the people in question around us.
Here in Ecuador, Mother Bear behavior is the rule and not the exception. Mothers — and other family members — hold grudges for a LONG time for slights and offenses against their children, whether the offenses are real or imagined. You could call it Mother Bear Country. 🙂
Now, back to the lesson on Esther: The teaching involved not hanging around with mean girls so you don’t become a mean girl; the Scripture I used was Proverbs 22:24-25:
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.
What dawned on me as I prepared for the teaching is that we can become that hot-tempered man or woman when we enter into a Mother Bear state. Instead of teaching our child to forgive or think the best or talk things through, we teach them–and sometimes ensnare them in a trap–to be easily angered. Oh me. Oh my. I know I’ve been guilty of this. I still am sometimes, but it’s with younger teachers not with my children. Time to repent. Thank God for the arrows he shoots into my heart. Arrows of conviction. Arrows of love.